You have to read What is your best programmer joke?, What was the strangest coding standard rule that you were forced to follow? and What is the best comment in source code you have ever encountered?
Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
What’s the difference between drug dealers and computer programmers?
| Drug Dealers | Computer Programmers |
|---|---|
| Refer to their clients as “users”. | Refer to their clients as “users”. |
| “The first one’s free!” | “Download a free trial version…” |
| Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff). | Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code). |
| Strange jargon: “Stick,” “Rock,” “Dime bag,” “E”. | Strange jargon: “SCSI,” “RTFM,” “Java,” “ISDN”. |
| Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. | Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. |
| Job is assisted by the industry’s producing newer, more potent mixes. | Job is assisted by industry’s producing newer, faster machines. |
| Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers. | Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists. |
| Their product causes unhealthy addictions. | DOOM. Quake. FarmVille. CS. ‘Nuff said. |
| Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you. | Damn! Damn! DAMN!!! |
ME: You should really think about a new monitor.
CLIENT: I would, but I don’t want to lose my icons.
(Source: Clients From Hell)
There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary, and those who do not understand it.
